20 Things I’m Grateful for in 2020

Let’s face it. 2020 has been the worst year since . . . for me, 2013. But there are still things to be grateful for this year. To put things in perspective, let me go back to 2013 (AKA the year everything in my life went wrong).

Short version of that year: I was graduating college. I had applied to an MFA program I felt reasonably confident about getting into (I know, just one—rookie mistake). I planned on teaching first-year English (as many MFA students did), so job: check. My future roomies and I had just found the perfect place and were about to sign our contracts for it.

One day in February, I checked my email between classes. There was one from BYU’s MFA program. With some trepidation but mostly excitement, I clicked on it. I had never not gotten into something I’d applied to, and I had no particular reason to think this would be different.

But.

The email said I didn’t get into the MFA. Which meant I also didn’t have a prospective job. Fifteen minutes later, the friends I had planned to live with texted to let me know that they didn’t feel good signing on our place, so they weren’t going to sign anywhere for a while.

Within fifteen minutes, my entire life plan had fallen apart. I had no school, job, or housing plans anymore, and I ended up graduating college without any idea of what to do next. After dozens of applications, I became a tech blogger. While I was glad to have A job, I also hated said job—it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just a bad fit. Every day for months, I went to work and then went home and applied to more jobs. Stress from other areas of my life made everything worse. I felt isolated, miserable, and most of all, trapped.

Then came a morning that changed everything. As I passed through the customer service room on the way to the “dev cave,” I noticed a framed quote on someone’s desk. In swirly letters, it said, “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”

I don’t know why, but that kickstarted a change of attitude for me. I realized that I couldn’t expect my circumstances to change if I wasn’t trying to make the best of the one I was currently in. I still didn’t love my job, but I stopped talking about how much I hated it, and I found new ways to get involved and use my talents. That was near the end of 2013. In January 2014, things turned around as I started a grad program in academic advising and finally got one of the jobs I’d been applying for. That day seeing the quote was the start of a shift in attitude that I think helped bring about a shift in circumstances.

And that brings us back to 2020. Yeah. Things suck. I’m nervous to be in close proximity with—well, pretty much everyone—and it’s hard and frustrating and stressful to navigate relationships and situations with people who feel differently about COVID than I do. I can’t list all the effects of COVID on so many people, so I won’t try, but above it all is the looming question of “how long will this go on?” I don’t know, but I do know that there have despite everything, this year has had good things, and for that, gratitude is in order. So without further ado, here are 20 things I’m grateful for in 2020:

1. My boyfriend, Bobby. He does pretty much all the cooking when we camp, he’s gone on more walks with me than I can count, and he provides frequent additions to my quote list. Moreover, he is a central reason I haven’t gone insane during COVID.

2. My family, who’s managed to remain close even though we’re spread out coast to coast. Also, I’m grateful for the little Fourth of July niece who’s new to the family this year.

3. Staying in touch with old friends. This winter, pre-COVID, I made a goal to talk on the phone with several old friends, including a handful I’d fallen out of touch with. It was really fun and reminded me that even though it’s hard to make new friends during COVID, there are awesome relationships in my life that can be renewed with a little effort.

4. My writing critique group! I’ve only ever met one of these girls in person, and we live across the country so that may not change, but we’ve been critiquing each other’s work over email for years, and when COVID started, we got a Marco Polo group together that’s been going strong ever since and has been such a happy addition to my life.

5. This is backtracking to 2019, but I went on a lot of vacations last year. Hawaii, the UK, a Caribbean cruise. At the time, I felt kind of sheepish about it because it seemed a little extravagant, but now in 2020, with not being able to go anywhere, I’m so grateful I went places when I could.

6. Getting to still go on trips, even if they were closer to home. While I couldn’t satisfy the desire to get outside of Utah, I did go to Bryce, Moonshine Wash, and Stansbury Island.

7. And in the absence of trips, I went on lots of hikes instead. I’ve been on more hikes this year than I have for a long time, including a conquest of a new mountain, Spanish Fork Peak (the adventure included two moose and a massively bug-infested A-frame).

8. An awesome, month-long scavenger hunt with Bobby and I’s church singles ward. We were the smallest team who competed and came in a proud fourth with tasks like knitting a scarf out of twine for a stuffed corgi, visiting a town with a population of less than 1000, and reenacting a scene from a horror movie.

9. Bobby graduated! After years of work, the PhD and accompanying dissertation are over and he now has a job at Georgia Tech where he . . .

10. . . . gets to work remote! And not just because of COVID. For always, if desired.

11. I shifted away from the academic advising field and got a job working in admissions at a medical school. I’d been feeling like it was a good time to make a career shift but didn’t know how or where, and this just fell into my lap.

12. I finished the second draft of the young adult road trip romance I’m working on! And I got great feedback from my writing group on how to make the third draft more solid. It’s nowhere close to publication or even querying for an agent—though thanks to you who asked!—but it’s moving along.

13. I can kinda-sorta do a handstand. Not all the time. And not for very long. But still. This has been five years in the making.

14. I got to run my annual 24th of July 10k. I wore a mask before and after and didn’t get to stick around for the festivities because there weren’t any, but I’ve run that race every year since I was sixteen and I would have been gutted if it hadn’t been able to happen.

15. I discovered so many awesome books this year. In the Hall with the Knife, Somewhere Only We Know, A Curse So Dark and Lonely, Eliza and Her Monsters, The Iron Will of Genie Lo—I could go on, but I won’t.

16. And on that note, even though BYU’s Friends of the Library program shut down because of COVID and I can’t get physical books right now, I discovered that I have access to a ton of eBooks through Overdrive. I’ve never been a fan of eBooks before, but I see the value now!

17. Online games. From Jackbox Games to Tabletop Simulator, COVID motivated Bobby and I to figure out ways to play games with friends and family remotely, which will still be useful after COVID for those who live far away.

18. Fairy lights! After Christmas last year, I strung up fairy lights in my room to try to keep the winter blues away, and it still makes me happy every time I turn them on.

19. Kindness in the face of different opinions. COVID’s stirred up all of our natural tendencies to want others to see things the way we do, me included, but I’m grateful for the examples of those who treat others with respect and kindness regardless of COVID opinions.

20. My Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. With everything going on, this has definitely been a year for me to get closer to Them, and studying the Book of Mormon this year has been one way I've done that. Building my faith in Them has brought me a lot of peace and hope for the future. '

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you grateful for this year?